It’s like a little gift to yourself… thus the word “present.” Be present. What does that even mean? I’m here. I’m going through the motions. I’m getting through this thing called life – going to sporting events for children, working, taking care of the kids, cleaning the house/yard, dinner on the table every night. I’m getting it done – what do you mean I’m not present? Well, you’re not. Not if you are doing more than one thing at a time. I know. I know. You are saying, “Life is crazy. If I don’t multi-task, I will never catch up/get done with everything I am expected to do.” And I want you to know that I absolutely understand that. I am the queen of multi-tasking. I can get it all done – eight things at once – after all, I teach a room full of 6 year olds. I have to be able to do more than one thing at a time. It is my life – at work and home. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be multi-tasking. I’m saying that you must find times that you can slow down and be present. Find those times that make you joyful. Find those events that you won’t get back. Find those things that might be “a last time.” Those are the times you need to slow down. A book to remind you: Breakfast With Buddha. So today, RIGHT NOW, be present.
Life sucks sometimes. Bad things are going to happen. People get sick, people die, arguments happen, accidents happen. That is just life. But… focusing on the negative leaves no room for the happiness. Think of it like a garden. When you pay attention to something in your garden it grows (like giving it sun, water, soil) and visa versa when you don’t pay attention to something it can’t grow. In your brain, when you focus on the negative, it kind of makes WEEDS grow. You know how weeds are – they take over!!!! Well, if you’re constantly focused on the weeds, they overtake the space in your brain (garden). Then there is just not enough room for the flowers or “positive thoughts.” A habit of being grateful or finding the good will overpower these weeds.
Get into a pattern or routine of finding things to be grateful for each day and eventually, it will seem like second nature. I use this book to help me get into the pattern: The Magic (28 days of gratefulness) Amazon. You will be able to pull 3-4 things from your head at any given moment that you are grateful for. Then, even when things “suck,” you’ll begin to be able to find some good. So today, RIGHT NOW, write down at least 5 things you are grateful for and then… do it every single day!
As a mommy… sometimes I want to scream or just leave! As a teacher… my patience is tested (I mean really tested). We all have days, hours, or minutes of stressed out, completely overwhelmed feelings. Breathe. Take a moment and take five breaths. Inhale through your nose. Exhale through your mouth. Feel your belly move out on the inhale and in on the exhale. Any change in your breathing pattern for just 3-5 breaths will change your state of mind. Allow yourself a moment. Breathe in and breathe out. Practice different kinds of breaths: slower on the inhale and faster on the exhale (or the opposite), try a forceful exhale with your tongue out, three short breaths in and one breath out, etc. Love this children’s book (but for adults, too): Breathe and Be – Amazon. Mix it up and do whatever breath feels right but today, RIGHT NOW, take a moment and just breathe.
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Me Time – Never Heard Of It!!!!!!!
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Read on to take a glimpse into The Seven-Year Bitch. This excerpt is about when your partner can’t seem to see/notice/find anything at all and is driving you crazy; followed by some gratitude and big picture questions.
Has it become apparent to you that your husband is gradually becoming blind? This is much like hearing loss in the fact that seemingly out the blue, your husband will not be able to find things anymore. This is to be expected after several years of marriage but bear in mind–there is something you can do about it!
* Does your husband often ask you where something is–perhaps in the refrigerator, only to find it not two seconds later?
* Does your husband tell you that something of his is not where it should be–perhaps a shirt, only to have you find it–exactly where it should be?
* Does your husband conveniently not see the kids playing with finger-paint on your new carpet?
* Does your husband not notice that your young children have flipped through the channels on the remote control and are watching some movie like Fatal Attraction?
* Is your husband oblivious to the fact that your first grader is about to walk out the door on the way to school with his shoes on the wrong feet or perhaps a shirt on inside out?
* Does he not see you racing around the house after dinner trying to pack bags, get lunches ready for the morning, set clothes out, get library books in backpacks, throw a load of clothes in the washer, finish the dishes, and get homework done–all by 8:00? Don’t forget the brushing of teeth, jammies, and books before bed, too!
If the answer is yes to any or all of these questions, blindness has begun. Don’t worry! There are certain steps you can take in order to slow down the effects of blindness or even help him regain sight–yes, reverse his blindness!
- Since your husband is having difficulty in seeing things, be sure to put things directly in front of him. Example: pick up the child covered in paint and put him right on your husbands lap. Then, he will see!
- When racing against the clock in finishing a list of “to do’s”, make sure that you slow down when you pass the television–in fact, you may even want to stop directly in front of it (especially during sporting events) so that your husband can easily see you and notice that you need a little help.
- Take a picture! That sweet child leaving for school with hair sticking out and a glob of hair gel in front because he was trying to be just like dad–take a picture. Be sure to slip it into a coat pocket or briefcase so that it may be a big surprise for him later!
Take a Glimpse
When you’ve come to a point in your marriage, in which you believe that your husband is actually blind–take a moment and try to remember the things that he does see. The next time you are tempted to focus on something he doesn’t see, I encourage you to make what he does see the focal point instead.
Think about all of those things that he does see!
* Seeing you walk down the aisle on your wedding day left him speechless. He became the luckiest man in the world that day.
* Does he see the slightest squint in your eyes and immediately know that you have a headache?
* Did he see out of the corner of his eye, a car racing around the corner just in time to grasp your two year old out of harms way–keeping him safe and sound?
* Did he see you looking longingly at that necklace while you were out window-shopping? Was that look embedded in his mind so much so, that he wanted to see you look like that again and thus, went back later to buy the necklace for you–just to see that look again?
* Does seeing your smile from across a crowded room, make him smile, too?
* Does seeing a look of anguish on your child’s face cause your husband to drop everything, scoop up that child, and do everything in his power to make it better?
* Did seeing your children being brought into this world cause him to cry? He wouldn’t have missed seeing that for the world.
* The first time he saw your baby smile–he sat making faces at that baby for an hour, just hoping that he could see her do it again!
Remember what he does see when you’re tempted to gripe about what he doesn’t.
Remember that men and women see differently – keep that in mind.
Remember love is blind–not our husbands!
Remember that you love him and he loves you.
When all else fails, call your girlfriends!